you better Not call an Arquette sister

As i have blogged before, there are some films for whatever reason, that i have always meant to see but just never got around to watching. In the past month i have watched several, and after most of them, i felt empty inside. Yep, many hours i will never get back. But since i have class in forty minutes, i am only gonna talk about three of them.

First, i netflixed(i love that 21st century verb)Stargate. Always wanted to see it, never got around to it. I knew it was a Roland Emmerich flick. But that didn't prepare me for what was to come. A cheesy storyline. Some decent acting mixed with some horrible acting. dated effects. Numerous Hieroglyphics, time travel, Kurt Russell's bad military haircut, a baddie in an Anubis Head, and Jaye Davidson. I'll be brief by saying this was so bad i couldn't finish it. I just couldn't get into the characters or the story. What was i expecting, since Emmerich is famous for Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 B.C., and the upcoming 2012, which i will admit, i do want to see. And i think the moral to these films is this. DO see them in the theater, because with the exception of Independence day(and even that's debatable) they just don't hold up. Period.

Next, i borrowed Highlander from the library. Yes, i have never seen Highlander. The Benning kept saying "There can be only one!" as we watched it. Neither of us had seen it in its entirety, so we gave it a shot. Again, i couldn't get through it. This film is so bad. Sure, it's got a soundtrack by Queen. So does Flash Gordon and that film is ten times more entertaining. Highlander has some of the worst direction i have ever seen. The initial sword fighting scene between Christopher Lambert and another highlander in a parking garage is terrible. My nephew wielding a plastic lightsaber looks more realistic(and enthusiastic). Clancy Brown is always enjoyable, and is over the top as the villian to Lambert's ho-hum highlander. He was far better as Raden in Mortal Kombat(guilty, guilty pleasure). Besides Clancy Brown, Sean Connery is enjoyable, but otherwise this is dreck i should have continued to avoid. Fanboys be damned!

Lastly, the other night i finally watched True Romance. Ah yes, the Tarantino penned-Tony Scott directed cult classic. Right away anyone would have known it was Tarantino. But, i must say, i felt like i was watching a rework of Natural Born Killers. Say, NBK with less maniacal protagonists. I won't say i didn't enjoy True Romance. I won't say i did enjoy it. I like the cast. I just don't think it was a great movie. The score annoyed the piss out of me. It didn't match the film, which may have been its intended purpose so one was aware that no matter what bad shit was going down, there was 'true love' involved. Spare me. The cast was great, even though i find Patricia Arquette moderately annoying in this role. Actually in most roles, sorry mom*. It was just so all over the place. Characters were introduced then disappeared. And most of the main characters were pretty one dimensional. I just couldn't help thinking while watching it that NBK was actually the same script, improved and cranked up to 11.

I just want to toss in that i also watched a film at a friend's request called "Scotland, P.A.". again, one i had been meaning to watch for a while. After watching it, i wished i had kept waiting. Bad wigs. Bad acting.

*my Mom loves Medium and constantly sticks up from Miss Arquette.

Theeeeey're Heeeeere

When i started this blog a year ago, i blogged a couple times a week. Sometimes twice a day! but in '09, i seem to have dropped off the face of the blogosphere. Sad but true. With school i just find myself continually unable or unmotivated to blog. My movie watching also falls to the wayside, although now that the lady is downtown, i have been renting movies at the lovely Tompkins County Public Library.

Sure, i have Netflix, but the library offers me things i would never think to rent unless they were looking back at me, longingly, from a metal shelf. Or they might be way down at number 89 on my queue. Like Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. Brought that gem home last night and alas, i cannot watch it because my laptop lacks a certain digital decoder, of which i don't know the codec that i need and blah blah blah. I'll have to call Mr. Bartos to help me with that issue. In the meantime, the Benning and i watched Poltergeist, which is what i want to talk about in this particular blog.

Sloppy segue, but i digress. I hadn't seen Poltergeist since my teens, and even then i never caught it in its entirety. I had seen it once from start to finish at my Dad's house, so i was somewhere between seven and maybe nine. Let me just say, it scared the shit out of me. And my younger brother who always demanded we let him watch scary movies too, then couldn't sleep by himself for weeks.

So, when i saw it on the shelf, i thought why not revisit it 25 years later. So we popped it in and from the opening credits the Spielberg influence was clear. Let me elaborate. Spielberg produced it. Tobe Hooper, who directed the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, directed it. At no point was that evident. It was a Spielberg show all the way. He wrote it, Jerry Goldsmith (Spielberg's musical right hand man being John Williams, it was strange they went with Goldsmith, but the score is very WIlliamsesque) did the score, and scene for scene it reminded me of another Spielberg film that came out the same year: E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial.

Only with ghosts and Mr. Incredible instead of a cute alien and Drew Barrymore.

The effects in Poltergeist were a little laughable at times, when compared to today, but the story still works, and the acting was super. And yes, it was still pretty creepy.

So if you haven't seen it in a while, pick it up at your local blockbuster/hollywood/mega-ridiculous video store, add it to your netflix queue, or if you are lucky enough to live in Ithaca, get it free at the library.

reinventing an original

SO, let me start by saying i only made it to two films yesterday. 9 and Zombieland. 9was ok. Zombieland was like a dream flick come true. Of course, there were tons of trailers in between, but only one stood out for me.

The Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

Now, Freddy was in a sick way one of my earliest crushes. No, it wasn't sexual. But i was definitely enamored with the guy in my pre-teen years. Sure, i liked Michael Myers and Jason and Pinhead, but those guys were so serious. They were so blah. Freddy was funny and hacked teens to pieces with style. What wasn't there to love? Now, i am not a Michael Bay fan, but i do love me some Wes Craven, and the remake looks like it is keeping a lot of the main elements of the original. The big difference is Jackie Earle Haley(who played Rorshach in Watchmen) will be donning the scorched fedora as FK.


and, for the one or two people who has never seen NMOES, here is that trailer too.



i have high hopes for this film. I have even higher hopes that they keep that telephone scene. I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy.

Where did September go?

I did not go to the cinema once in September. Not one single time. I meant to. I really did. Alas, i just never made it. Tomorrow, i am going to start making up for it by attempting to see 3. Yes. I said 3. I have nothing to do tomorrow, and i am trying to stay out of the GF's hair so she can get her apartment in order, so i think i will spend my day at the movie theater. Heck, i might even try to make it 4 if i can. But 3 is a pretty hefty undertaking. Here's my itinerary:

At 12:30 i will head to the mall and buy tickets. The first one will be for 9. Even though my esteemed colleague Claire Tam gave it an unfavorable review, i am gonna see it anyway, at 12:45. it has a running time of 1 hour 19 minutes.

Then i will see a movie i have anticipated ALMOST as much as Inglorious Basterds(which was awesome and i will cover at the year's end). That of course, is Zombieland. I'm gonna shoot for the 2:10 show (with a running time of 1 hour 27 minutes) so i can get myself an icee. Or a slushie if you prefer the term. I like to say "i buy me all these icees, and actually mean an icee. Preferably the red flavored one. Oooh i like that red flavor. The lady prefers blue. Just sayin'.

Last, i will run at jet speed(which is actually sorta of a fast-stumble) to see the Informant! I love Matt Damon. I have since Good Will Hunting and i always will. Besides, he sports a bad mustache in this, what's not to love? It starts at 4pm and has a running time of 1 hour 41 minutes.

Now, if i can achieve this feat, i will amaze myself. AND if i haven't burned my eyes out by the end of the Informant! i may just drive downtown and catch Capitalism:a Love Story OR In the Loop. Time will tell. And my eyesight.

And how i feel after all i buy me all these icees (or slushie, if you prefer)

study break!

Well, well, well school has started once again. This semester finds me with my heaviest course load to date. Lots of papers. Lots of reading. Lots of stuff. period. This means less time for social endeavors and worst of all, movie watching. Woe is me. I have my eyes on the prize though, since i am only 3 semesters away from being done at Cortland (school budget-class availability willing), so i am hanging in there.

I am trying to break up all my readings by taking little Hulu breaks. My latest guilty pleasure being Hell's Kitchen. See, i love Gordon Ramsay on Kitchen Nightmares. He's brilliant and not as scary as they make him out to be. But on Hell's Kitchen he's a big meany. yelling profanities at the chefs as they mess up time and again. They cast Ramsay as this Brutal controlling maniac. But i don't see that. I see a guy who wants things done right, and in the case of the show, he's offering a reward. It's the contestants who are awful. Its the most cutthroat bunch of whiny pinheads i have ever seen assembled on a reality game show. There's no real focus paid to the food, just that dishes make it out to the dining room and are cooked correctly. The contestants generally look like everything they are saying is painfully rehearsed. Even a confrontation on guy had with Ramsay looked like he had been practicing for it. It's low grade entertainment, but i keep watching it. Why, you may be asking yourselves, and the answer is simple, dear readers...

You can't find Top Chef online. sigh.

Getting the most bang for your buck

Yesterday i saw not one, but two high powered action flicks. First up was Inglorious Basterds. Now, anyone who knows me(or has been a regular reader of this blog) knows i am a shameless Tarantino fan. This movie may have thrown historical fact out the window, and been "gratuitously violent", but i found it delightfully entertaining. I also found myself able to follow and interpret most of the german dialogue. Brad Pitt and Eli Roth had two of the worst accents i think i have ever heard spoken on film, but it worked. This was a film about "Killin Gnatzies" and revenge! Two plots converged to make one hell of a revenge flick that i must say i had a great time watching.

Later, i went on a romantic date with my lady to see a second action flick- G.I. Joe. My expectations for substance were not high. Instead i brought a mental checklist with me:

• high powered action with loads of special effects....check
• good vs. evil ninjas....heck yes
• evil 'take over the world' type villains....check
• the phrases 'knowing is half the battle' and 'yo joe!'....check
• women in tight outfits tearing each other apart....you bet

G.I. Joe was a super fun popcorn flick. No surprises, but lots of cool effects and action. Most fun i have had at the movies since earlier in the day.

The Macho Conundrum

Yesterday i returned to my beloved local indy theater and saw Humpday. I had initially thought, since it starred Mark Duplass, that it was directed by he and his brother. But i was wrong. It was written and directed by Lynn Shelton, and was a look at the macho sensibilities. Duplass plays Ben, a happily married guy with a great wife and a good life. Late one night his college pal Andrew, played by Joshua Leonard, shows up to their house and almost immediately mild mannered loving Ben reverts to his former 'dude' self, wanting to be free and able to express himself, just like Andrew, who has been living an artist/vagabond lifestyle travelling the world and doing as he pleases. Of course this creates a problem with his wife Anna(Alycia Denmore), especially when Andrew accidentally reveals he and Ben's plan to have sex on film for the sake of art.

This movie could have been a one gag movie, based solely on the idea of two straight guys having sex, but its much more than that. Funny and sometimes sweet, Humpday is an examination of the male-male friendship. The competitive,macho spirit, the bonding, and how different men and women behave with each other. Old news perhaps, but done well in this entertaining little indie.

Tetro(or why i wish i'd stayed home and watched my netflix)

Looks good, right? Yesterday i took a trip downtown to see Tetro. I couldn't remember the last time i had seen a FFC film AT a theater. So, as i sat with my big bucket o' popcorn in lap and sipped my soda, i patiently waited for the film to start.

and waited...
and waited...
and waited a little more.

Finally, someone went to see what the problem was(there had only been about 8 people in the theater and i was boxed in my a couple on either side of me). Apparently, the fine folks working had forgotten about little old theater number 2. No big deal, i had no other pressing plans. So the movie starts, and i had prepared myself for this or so i thought, but in the opening titles, listed at the same time as the film title and FFC's name, in fairly large letters it read

"Starring Vincent Gallo"

Top billing in the main title? REALLY?

And thus, no matter how i tried, i was pretty sure i wouldn't have anything nice to say about this movie. I have never liked Mr. Gallo as i think he's a moderately talented actor who thinks he is a genius in front of and behind the camera. He plays every role the same in my opinion. Moody, snarky, jerky is a long list of adjectives i could interject here(all ending in Y) but i'll stop. So Gallo plays the lead character, Tetro, but the truth is, he should be sharing top billing with Alden Ehrenreich who plays Tetro's younger brother Bennie. Eherenreich looks like the poor man's Leonardo DiCaprio. Another thing i couldn't get past. What i did like about this film was the score, the editing and the cinematography. These three components would have made it watchable with no dialogue. Hold on to your hats, dear readers, because now i must tell you about the one thing i loved about this film.

Maribel Verdu.

Who? you may ask yourself. She is the screen stealing Spanish actress of Y Tu Mama Tambien and Pan's Labyrinth. Both films i saw at this same theater. And in both those films she nearly hypnotized me. She is the best thing in Tetro, playing Gallo's wife, stealing most if not all of her scenes.

Hey, i did find something nice to say about it after all.